For the longest time, I always thought that confidence came from a person’s personality, resources or natural talents.
It made sense to me that a person who has these things would naturally feel confidence in themselves.
But the further I delve into the study of peak performers, the more I realize that this is not the case.
In fact, there are countless stories of people who despite having the odds stacked against them, still found the confidence within to succeed at the highest level.
They gained a form of unwavering confidence, not from their personality, resources or natural talents, but from ONE thing they all believed in.
And that belief can be summarized in ONE word.
That ONE word is… possibility.
Everything you’ve ever achieved comes down to one word: possibility.
Let me give you an example, something we can all relate to.
Let’s say you’re single and you just met someone. And after the initial conversation, you find that you’re really attracted to this person.
What is it that allows you to muster up the confidence to ask that person out… despite knowing you could be rejected?
What is it that allows you to go in for the kiss… despite the risk of making a fool out of yourself?
What is it that makes you want to settle down and have kids with that person… despite knowing there’s a chance you could be choosing the wrong person?
It’s not courage. It’s POSSIBILITY.
Despite fear or the risk of real heartbreak, there’s something in you that keeps you moving forward and take the relationship to the next level.
Something that gives you that small dose of confidence for you to act.
Possibility is the source of confidence.
If you believe it is possible for you to succeed, you transcend your fear… and take action anyway (read: being confident)
In fact, possibility is more than just a source of confidence. Possibility keeps us alive.
We continue to live, grow and move forward in life because there’s always something bright and wonderful on the horizon for us to work towards. We are most alive when we are moving forward in life.
Every great person in history was led by possibility.
Napoleon Bonaparte, when he was a child, drew detailed maps of the countries he would later go on to conquer. And he did.
John F. Kennedy saw that it was possible for the US to win the space race and put the first man on the moon. And it happened.
Martin Luther King Jr. ‘had a dream’ and believed that one day all races would be able to live in harmony as equals in his country. And it happened.
Donald J. Trump – a reality TV star and billionaire mogul who has never had an experience in public service – saw a possibility for him to become the President of the United States.
…Well, you know what happened.
A lot of people laughed at him, mocked him and thought it was impossible. But it didn’t matter.
He knew it was possible. And his confidence never wavered.
(He was still ever-confident, even after his impeachment!)
All that matters is one fact: you can only achieve things you believe are possible for YOU.
Let me repeat that.
You can only achieve things that you believe are possible for you.
Confidence comes when you believe that it is possible for you to achieve something, even if the odds may not be in your favour.
Despite the data out there, you ultimately get to decide what is possible for you. There may be a lot of evidence to prove that something is not possible for someone else.
But you still can choose otherwise.
On the other hand, you will never achieve things that you currently believe are impossible.
You may ask, but then what about all the things that happened to me that I never imagined or expected? How did it become my reality?
Sure, you may never have thought those things were possible.
But my guess is that it never occurred to you that those things were impossible either!
For example, I never once thought that at 21, I could be successful at public speaking, let alone make money from it! I always thought that at 21, I needed to complete my university degree first before even thinking about earning an income.
Turns out that I succeeded in doing just that. But upon reflection, I realized it’s only because I never ruled that out as an impossibility.
So the universe showed me a path.
Most of the time, it is not the world that limits you. It is usually your own mind.
‘Making up your mind’ can be extremely dangerous – especially if you’ve made up your mind that you’re not cut out to do something.
When you tell yourself that something is not possible, your mind rules it out as unattainable.
So on the subject of possibility, how can you transform yourself into a highly confident person and make this year your best one yet? Here are 3 ways:
3 Ways To Dramatically Increase Your Confidence
Tip #1: Think Small.
Wait – isn’t having confidence about the willingness to think big? Opening yourself up to big possibilities?
Forget thinking big.
If you really want to achieve massive, tangible results, the way to go is to take small, progressive steps to get there.
In fact, thinking small is a much more sustainable way to incrementally build confidence. You want to have confidence that is natural and organic, instead of using temporary bursts of motivation.
Let’s say you’re determined to lose weight this year, and you’ve set a goal of losing 10 kg.
First of all, let me warn you that if you’re not convinced that you can achieve that eventual goal, you’re better off not trying anyway.
But if you DO believe you can achieve it, great.
The trick now is to go really tiny. Set micro-habits and start by losing 0.25kg. Would that be possible?
My guess is your brain says: ‘Sure, why not?’. And that means that you think that it’s possible.
Remember, you cannot achieve things you deem to be impossible.
In the process of achieving any goal, remember that small wins stack up.
It is much more effective to break down your big goals into micro-habits, so that you can progressively build confidence as you rack up those wins.
So it will work in your favour to start with small goals and make small increments and adjustments along the way.
Before you know it, you’ll be at your ideal weight!
Here’s a useful 4-step guide for you to create Micro-Habits! Fill in this form to receive the 4-step guide.
Tip #2: Stop Looking For ‘Experts’ Or Outside Opinions to Validate Your Ideas.
I’m naturally a risk-averse person.
So in order to minimise the risk of looking stupid, I like to run my ideas by a few people to get an ‘outside opinion’.
Except there’s one problem with this approach: it’s very likely that the people who are close to you would steer you away taking bold risks.
They could be well-intentioned.
But very often you could be walking away from the conversation, doubting your idea with diminished excitement.
Eventually you may end up substituting your original plan with a less ambitious watered-down version.
I realize that the more advice I get from well-intentioned people, the less excited I get about my original idea. And in the end, I take no risks out of fear of disappointing them.
In the end, I made no mistakes. I make no progress.
Simple advice: stop seeking validation for your ideas.
Anyone who has ever achieved something truly ground-breaking never needed an outside opinion to validate their idea.
Imagine if Steve Jobs did a survey with technology ‘experts’ of his day and asked them if it was possible to cram a computer, a telephone, a television, a music player, a calculator, an alarm clock and a camera into a palm-sized device.
They’d all scream unanimously in his face, one word: IMPOSSIBLE!
And we all use devices like that in our daily lives without even thinking.
You’re probably using it right now to read this article.
There’s a time and place for outside opinions. But they’re only useful if you seek out trusted, reliable sources who are invested in seeing you succeed.
Also, outside sources are useful for decision making, but not so much for starting a project.
When it comes to choosing a new venture or creative project, trust your gut and determine for yourself what is possible.
Tip #3: Surround Yourself With People Who Have Achieved Things You Never Thought Were Possible.
All things are impossible… until someone does it.
Likewise, confidence can be acquired through emulation (taking on the thinking and behaviours of confident people), or through osmosis (letting their confidence rub off onto you).
If you know someone who has achieved something you once thought was ‘impossible’, then it might be useful for you to connect with that person.
You don’t need to become their best friend. Just find the community that he or she is part of and join that community.
There’s a high chance that there will be 2 or 3 people who are very similar to the person you want to have access to. They may establish a direct link for you to connect to the person!
When you join a community, you are joining a group of people who share a set of beliefs that are unique.
These beliefs may be foreign or uninteresting to outsiders, but they are second nature to this unique group.
In order to become like these people you admire, you need to start adopting their beliefs. Because their beliefs may provide clues to where their confidence comes from.
If you want to start a successful business, join the network of successful businesspeople. Successful businesspeople have more confidence in the area of starting businesses.
If you want to publish your own book, join a community of writers and authors. Writers and authors have more confidence in publishing books.
When you surround yourself with people who have ‘made the impossible, possible’, then it’s very likely that you can also achieve similar results simply by hanging around these people.
And in turn, adopt their level of confidence in that area.
Sure, you may feel like a fish out of water at the start. But most importantly, can you see yourself as one of them?
Even if it seems impossible for now, do you think it would be possible in time?
If the answer is yes… then it’s only a matter of time!
**
Now that you know 3 ways to dramatically increase your confidence, what new possibilities await you this year?
Take out a piece of paper and write down a list of what would absolutely blow your mind and bring you massive joy if you could possibly achieve this year.
If there’s one resolution to make this year, it is to have a mindset of possibility.
Don’t make mediocrity a possibility for you.
May this year be your best one yet.
Need a kickstart to confidence? Turn your goals into Micro-Habits. Fill in this form to receive the 4-step guide.
Summary
Possibility is the source of confidence. It keeps you moving forward despite fear or the risk of heartbreak. It is the possibility of a compelling future that allows you to transcend your fear… and take action anyway.
Confidence comes when you believe that it is possible for you to achieve something, even if the odds may not be in your favour.
All great things were achieved by individuals who saw what was possible. You can only achieve things that you believe are possible for you. It means despite the data out there, you ultimately get to decide what is possible.
Tip #1: Think small.
If you’re not convinced that you can achieve your big goal, you want to start building confidence by achieving small wins. Create micro-habits that your brain finds easy and work your way up from there.
Tip #2: Stop seeking ‘experts’ of outside opinions to validate your ideas.
There’s a time and place for outside opinions. as long as they’re from trusted, reliable sources who are invested in seeing you succeed. Outside sources are useful for decision making, not so much for starting projects. Trust your gut and choose to determine for yourself what is possible.
Tip #3: Surround yourself with people who have achieved things you never thought was possible.
By hanging around them, you’ll start gaining confidence by picking up the beliefs, behaviours and strategies that made them successful in that area.
For the longest time, I always thought that confidence came from a person’s personality, resources or natural talents.
It made sense to me that a person who has these things would naturally feel confidence in themselves.
But the further I delve into the study of peak performers, the more I realize that this is not the case.
In fact, there are countless stories of people who despite having the odds stacked against them, still found the confidence within to succeed at the highest level.
They gained a form of unwavering confidence, not from their personality, resources or natural talents, but from ONE thing they all believed in.
And that belief can be summarized in ONE word.
That ONE word is… possibility.
Everything you’ve ever achieved comes down to one word: possibility.
Let me give you an example, something we can all relate to.
Let’s say you’re single and you just met someone. And after the initial conversation, you find that you’re really attracted to this person.
What is it that allows you to muster up the confidence to ask that person out… despite knowing you could be rejected?
What is it that allows you to go in for the kiss… despite the risk of making a fool out of yourself?
What is it that makes you want to settle down and have kids with that person… despite knowing there’s a chance you could be choosing the wrong person?
It’s not courage. It’s POSSIBILITY.
Despite fear or the risk of real heartbreak, there’s something in you that keeps you moving forward and take the relationship to the next level.
Something that gives you that small dose of confidence for you to act.
Possibility is the source of confidence.
If you believe it is possible for you to succeed, you transcend your fear… and take action anyway (read: being confident)
In fact, possibility is more than just a source of confidence. Possibility keeps us alive.
We continue to live, grow and move forward in life because there’s always something bright and wonderful on the horizon for us to work towards. We are most alive when we are moving forward in life.
Every great person in history was led by possibility.
Napoleon Bonaparte, when he was a child, drew detailed maps of the countries he would later go on to conquer. And he did.
John F. Kennedy saw that it was possible for the US to win the space race and put the first man on the moon. And it happened.
Martin Luther King Jr. ‘had a dream’ and believed that one day all races would be able to live in harmony as equals in his country. And it happened.
Donald J. Trump – a reality TV star and billionaire mogul who has never had an experience in public service – saw a possibility for him to become the President of the United States.
…Well, you know what happened.
A lot of people laughed at him, mocked him and thought it was impossible. But it didn’t matter.
He knew it was possible. And his confidence never wavered.
(He was still ever-confident, even after his impeachment!)
All that matters is one fact: you can only achieve things you believe are possible for YOU.
Let me repeat that.
You can only achieve things that you believe are possible for you.
Confidence comes when you believe that it is possible for you to achieve something, even if the odds may not be in your favour.
Despite the data out there, you ultimately get to decide what is possible for you. There may be a lot of evidence to prove that something is not possible for someone else.
But you still can choose otherwise.
On the other hand, you will never achieve things that you currently believe are impossible.
You may ask, but then what about all the things that happened to me that I never imagined or expected? How did it become my reality?
Sure, you may never have thought those things were possible.
But my guess is that it never occurred to you that those things were impossible either!
For example, I never once thought that at 21, I could be successful at public speaking, let alone make money from it! I always thought that at 21, I needed to complete my university degree first before even thinking about earning an income.
Turns out that I succeeded in doing just that. But upon reflection, I realized it’s only because I never ruled that out as an impossibility.
So the universe showed me a path.
Most of the time, it is not the world that limits you. It is usually your own mind.
‘Making up your mind’ can be extremely dangerous – especially if you’ve made up your mind that you’re not cut out to do something.
When you tell yourself that something is not possible, your mind rules it out as unattainable.
So on the subject of possibility, how can you transform yourself into a highly confident person and make this year your best one yet? Here are 3 ways:
3 Ways To Dramatically Increase Your Confidence
Tip #1: Think Small.
Wait – isn’t having confidence about the willingness to think big? Opening yourself up to big possibilities?
Forget thinking big.
If you really want to achieve massive, tangible results, the way to go is to take small, progressive steps to get there.
In fact, thinking small is a much more sustainable way to incrementally build confidence. You want to have confidence that is natural and organic, instead of using temporary bursts of motivation.
Let’s say you’re determined to lose weight this year, and you’ve set a goal of losing 10 kg.
First of all, let me warn you that if you’re not convinced that you can achieve that eventual goal, you’re better off not trying anyway.
But if you DO believe you can achieve it, great.
The trick now is to go really tiny. Set micro-habits and start by losing 0.25kg. Would that be possible?
My guess is your brain says: ‘Sure, why not?’. And that means that you think that it’s possible.
Remember, you cannot achieve things you deem to be impossible.
In the process of achieving any goal, remember that small wins stack up.
It is much more effective to break down your big goals into micro-habits, so that you can progressively build confidence as you rack up those wins.
So it will work in your favour to start with small goals and make small increments and adjustments along the way.
Before you know it, you’ll be at your ideal weight!
Here’s a useful 4-step guide for you to create Micro-Habits! Fill in this form to receive the 4-step guide.
Tip #2: Stop Looking For ‘Experts’ Or Outside Opinions to Validate Your Ideas.
I’m naturally a risk-averse person.
So in order to minimise the risk of looking stupid, I like to run my ideas by a few people to get an ‘outside opinion’.
Except there’s one problem with this approach: it’s very likely that the people who are close to you would steer you away taking bold risks.
They could be well-intentioned.
But very often you could be walking away from the conversation, doubting your idea with diminished excitement.
Eventually you may end up substituting your original plan with a less ambitious watered-down version.
I realize that the more advice I get from well-intentioned people, the less excited I get about my original idea. And in the end, I take no risks out of fear of disappointing them.
In the end, I made no mistakes. I make no progress.
Simple advice: stop seeking validation for your ideas.
Anyone who has ever achieved something truly ground-breaking never needed an outside opinion to validate their idea.
Imagine if Steve Jobs did a survey with technology ‘experts’ of his day and asked them if it was possible to cram a computer, a telephone, a television, a music player, a calculator, an alarm clock and a camera into a palm-sized device.
They’d all scream unanimously in his face, one word: IMPOSSIBLE!
And we all use devices like that in our daily lives without even thinking.
You’re probably using it right now to read this article.
There’s a time and place for outside opinions. But they’re only useful if you seek out trusted, reliable sources who are invested in seeing you succeed.
Also, outside sources are useful for decision making, but not so much for starting a project.
When it comes to choosing a new venture or creative project, trust your gut and determine for yourself what is possible.
Tip #3: Surround Yourself With People Who Have Achieved Things You Never Thought Were Possible.
All things are impossible… until someone does it.
Likewise, confidence can be acquired through emulation (taking on the thinking and behaviours of confident people), or through osmosis (letting their confidence rub off onto you).
If you know someone who has achieved something you once thought was ‘impossible’, then it might be useful for you to connect with that person.
You don’t need to become their best friend. Just find the community that he or she is part of and join that community.
There’s a high chance that there will be 2 or 3 people who are very similar to the person you want to have access to. They may establish a direct link for you to connect to the person!
When you join a community, you are joining a group of people who share a set of beliefs that are unique.
These beliefs may be foreign or uninteresting to outsiders, but they are second nature to this unique group.
In order to become like these people you admire, you need to start adopting their beliefs. Because their beliefs may provide clues to where their confidence comes from.
If you want to start a successful business, join the network of successful businesspeople. Successful businesspeople have more confidence in the area of starting businesses.
If you want to publish your own book, join a community of writers and authors. Writers and authors have more confidence in publishing books.
When you surround yourself with people who have ‘made the impossible, possible’, then it’s very likely that you can also achieve similar results simply by hanging around these people.
And in turn, adopt their level of confidence in that area.
Sure, you may feel like a fish out of water at the start. But most importantly, can you see yourself as one of them?
Even if it seems impossible for now, do you think it would be possible in time?
If the answer is yes… then it’s only a matter of time!
**
Now that you know 3 ways to dramatically increase your confidence, what new possibilities await you this year?
Take out a piece of paper and write down a list of what would absolutely blow your mind and bring you massive joy if you could possibly achieve this year.
If there’s one resolution to make this year, it is to have a mindset of possibility.
Don’t make mediocrity a possibility for you.
May this year be your best one yet.
Need a kickstart to confidence? Turn your goals into Micro-Habits. Fill in this form to receive the 4-step guide.
Summary
Possibility is the source of confidence. It keeps you moving forward despite fear or the risk of heartbreak. It is the possibility of a compelling future that allows you to transcend your fear… and take action anyway.
Confidence comes when you believe that it is possible for you to achieve something, even if the odds may not be in your favour.
All great things were achieved by individuals who saw what was possible. You can only achieve things that you believe are possible for you. It means despite the data out there, you ultimately get to decide what is possible.
Tip #1: Think small.
If you’re not convinced that you can achieve your big goal, you want to start building confidence by achieving small wins. Create micro-habits that your brain finds easy and work your way up from there.
Tip #2: Stop seeking ‘experts’ of outside opinions to validate your ideas.
There’s a time and place for outside opinions. as long as they’re from trusted, reliable sources who are invested in seeing you succeed. Outside sources are useful for decision making, not so much for starting projects. Trust your gut and choose to determine for yourself what is possible.
Tip #3: Surround yourself with people who have achieved things you never thought was possible.
By hanging around them, you’ll start gaining confidence by picking up the beliefs, behaviours and strategies that made them successful in that area.