I remember taking out an old A4 jotter book and making a list of words and phrases that I would use to describe myself.

However, the list wasn’t a collection of one-word character traits like ‘skinny’, ‘introverted’ or ‘diligent’.

The list was much more specific than that.

All the items were just sentences that began with the words ‘I’m the type of person who…’

It went something like this:

‘I’m the type of person who never plays sports’.

‘I’m the type of person who is too afraid to talk to girls he likes.’

‘I’m the type of person who always submits his homework on time’.

‘I’m the type of person who is afraid to anger his parents’.

‘I’m the type of person who doesn’t have many friends.’

And the list went on to fill an entire page.

It was a particularly unique experience for me because for the very first time, I suspended my social consciousness (the endless paranoia of how I’m being perceived by others) and experienced self-awareness.

The list felt like a looking at mirror. A mirror that reflects the good, the bad and the ugly.

Most importantly, it was a mirror that reflected the truth.

It’s similar to what David Goggins (a.k.a the toughest man on Earth) calls the ‘Accountability Mirror’.

It was the first time I chose to turn a blind eye on how people saw me… and took a good hard look at how I saw myself.

And I wasn’t happy.

So I flipped the page over, and I wrote down the opposite. I wrote down the same ‘I’m the type of person’ list, this time with traits that I desired.

‘I’m the type of person who can speak on stage with absolute confidence’.

‘I’m the type of person who reads and studies personal development books daily.’

‘I’m the type of person who trains like a Spartan warrior’.

‘I’m the type of person who can kick ass in a fight’.

‘I’m the type of person who is charming and attractive when he makes first impressions.’

I had absolutely no clue how I could become this ‘ideal’ person.

I remember laughing to myself, thinking that the list described somewhat of a mythical creature, a superhero or a heavenly deity.

I let my imagination run wild with the list, even going so far as to write ludicrous things like: ‘I’m the type of person who can persuade a total stranger to give me $1000 dollars’ or ‘I’m the type of person who can make someone fall in love with me just by looking into their eyes.’

The list was silly.

But for the first time in my life, I had a vision to strive for.

I didn’t know what I wanted to achieve in my life. But I sure as hell knew I wanted to BE somebody.

10 years later, I became more than half of the things on that list.

And it’s not like I looked at that list every single day. I still don’t know if I can make a person fall in love with me just by looking into their eyes though.

But who knows?

All I can say is that this exercise is really powerful.

 

Understanding The Mechanics of ‘The Type of Person’ Lists

So throughout the years, I’ve been using this exercise for myself. I’ve done it for my coaching clients as well to do a ‘check-in’ on their identity: who they believe themselves to be right now based on what they do.

Tony Robbins would say: “the power of identity is one of the strongest forces in the human psyche.”

Making a clear distinction of who you are and who you want to be is the first step to changing your behaviour. 

The beauty of it is that you don’t need to know ‘how’ you’re going to become this ‘ideal’ type of person.

You just need to know roughly who you’re working to become.

Also, by using the phrase ‘I’m the type of person who is…’ instead of ‘I am…’, you’re subtly acknowledging that you are who you are because of what you DO.

For example, instead of saying: ‘I am fat’ which feels shameful and suggests that your lack of fitness is just who you are (and you can’t do anything about it)…

…you can rephrase it as ‘I am the type of person who doesn’t exercise regularly’.

So how do you change it?

Simple.

Declare that you’ve chosen to be ‘the type of person who exercises regularly’.

And then actually start doing it.

Too good to be true?

Usually the simplest solutions are the best ones.

The lesson here is that our brain is always analysing for congruency.

If you believe that you’re ‘the type of person who doesn’t go to the gym’, then no matter how much ‘motivation’ you have…

…you’ll never actually drag your ass to the gym.

Because your Current Identity is just not congruent with the Desired Action.

And no amount of money, time or motivation is going to help you.

This exercise is not just about self-awareness. It’s also a ‘congruency check’.

3 Steps To Become The Type Of Person You’ve Always Wanted To Be

So here’s what you can do now:

Step 1: Describe yourself using a list of qualities starting with ‘I’m the type of person who…’. Use actions or behaviours (e.g. ‘speaks on stage with confidence’), instead of just simple traits (e.g ‘is confident’).

Be as specific and honest with yourself as possible. Like all humans, you’re a mix of positive and negative elements.

Take a good hard look at your list. Notice how you feel as you look at your list.

This is you.

Imperfect. Flawed. Human.

But you are not imprisoned in this ‘person’ forever.

Step 2: Write your ‘Ideal Person’ list.

Write it as if you are that ideal person NOW.

Don’t write ‘I want to be the type of person who is…’. Just start immediately with ‘I am the type of person…’.

Be as free and imaginative as you want with it. It doesn’t matter if it feels like a fantasy.

You never know if that fantasy may become REAL… like how it did for me and my coachees.

Notice how phrasing it in the present tense feels like in your body.

Does it fill you with hope, inspiration, doubt or anxiety?

Explore why you may feel such emotions.

Step 3: Look at your Ideal Person list. Using the 80/20 rule, highlight a few ‘key’ items that you feel the strongest positive emotions for.

The 80/20 rule recommends that 20% of your items are the ‘key’ items. If you have 20 items, you could highlight 4. If you have a total of 30 items, you could highlight 6.

These items could trigger emotions such as excitement, curiosity, wonderment, awe or joy.

Your intuition knows best. These could be the items that your soul resonates most with and is excited to “become”.

For example, one ‘key’ item the first time I wrote this list was ‘I’m the type of person who can kick ass in a fight’.

It was something that I totally could never do at the time I was writing it. But it made me the most excited because I saw a possibility.

Shortly after that, I joined martial arts and it changed my life forever.

So this step is about getting your mind to start focusing on the desired qualities where you are most likely to take action on.

Success is going to be a long journey, so you might as well start where you are most likely to succeed.

—

Albert Einstein once said ‘imagination is the preview of life’s coming attractions’.

This quote lit my soul on fire the moment I first heard it.

I never had the perspective that your imagination is like the blueprint for any outcome you want in your life.

In this case, imagination precedes transformation.

Creating the ‘type of person’ list doesn’t just reveal to you who you are right now. It reveals to you who you may be destined to be.

And if the universe gives you an opportunity for you to reinvent yourself, who would you be?