Are you currently worried about something that hasn’t happened yet?
If your worries are causing you a lot of stress, this post might give you some ideas.
First of all, understand that worry, anxiety, distress or nervousness are emotions with the same root: fear.
Like happiness, sadness or anger, fear is an emotion.
Emotions are just electrical impulses – signals that our brain uses to prompt us to take a certain kind of action.
Fear may feel highly uncomfortable, distressing or even painful, but ultimately it is just the body’s ‘alarm system’ to signal you to do (or NOT do) something risky.
More than just signals, understand that your emotions are the result of your interpretation of reality.
For example, if you’re worried you might lose your job, it’s not ‘losing your job’ that is causing you to worry.
It could be that you interpret: ‘losing your job’ = ‘not being able to survive’ = ‘feeling like a burden to your family’
So the reality of losing your job is not good nor bad. It is the interpretation we attach to that reality that it becomes associated as good or bad.
It is not the things themselves that cause emotions, but our interpretations of them that cause the emotions.
Likewise, the things you are worried about are not inherently bad. By your thinking, you interpreted them as bad, and naturally, worry crops up to signal you to do something about it.
How To Change Your Interpretation By Changing The Words
The beauty of the way we interpret things in our lives is that our interpretations are just thoughts.
Thoughts are automatically generated by our mind through our programming, our beliefs. If we believe the world is inherently a dangerous place, we default to thoughts of fear and worry.
Our interpretations, like programming language, can be modified and recoded. By changing the words we use, and the stories we tell ourselves, we can cause immediate shifts in our experience of reality.
Let’s talk about one thing many, many people get worried about: public speaking.
The idea of speaking in front of an audience is enough to trigger all sorts of distressing emotions. Worry is certainly one of them.
But as I’ve explained earlier, it is not the public speaking itself that causes you to worry, it is how you interpret it that causes you to worry.
Let’s say you have an important presentation coming up.
If you could zoom out and take an objective look at yourself having to give that presentation, what are you ACTUALLY worried about?
“What if I forget my entire speech and make a fool out of myself?”
“What if I say something I’m not supposed to and offend the audience?”
“What if I bore them to death with my speech?”
If you take a look at common thoughts of worry or fear, they usually start with the words ‘what if?’.
The words ‘what if’ by themselves are neutral.
But what if you added one more word at the beginning… the word ‘so’.
“So what if I forget my entire speech and make a fool out of myself?”
“So what if I say something I’m not supposed to and offend the audience?”
“So what if I bore them to death with my speech?”
So what?
By starting with ‘So what?’, you almost completely negate the possibility of risk and puts you in a position of indifference.
Your interpretation goes from ‘what if the world ends?’ to ‘what’s the worst that could possibly happen?’.
By reframing the ‘scary’ possibilities as ‘So what?’, you take an objective look at the fear, and more importantly give yourself some faith that no matter what happens… you’ll be okay.
From that position of indifference, you allow yourself to be calm and use reason to dissect your fears and diminish their power over you.
A simple play on words, but it could be a major shift in how you feel and how effectively you respond in situations.
And that’s the power of words to completely re-calibrate your thought patterns and stop feelings of worry or anxiety from taking you hostage.
In coaching my clients, I let them explore their fears and insecurities in a safe space and give them opportunities to completely re-interpret the things they are afraid of.
I’ve done it myself in many instances – and it has made me deal with many fears I’ve had in the past – from cliff jumping to roller coasters to talking to strangers to public speaking and recently, swimming with sharks in the ocean (whale sharks… but still!).
Knowing this, what other ways can you reframe your worries and re-think your fears?
I’d love to know!
Summary
It is not the things themselves that cause emotions, but our interpretations of them that cause the emotions.
Our interpretations, like programming language, can be modified and recoded. By changing the words we use, and the stories we tell ourselves, we can cause immediate shifts in our experience of reality.
By reframing from ‘What If?’ to ‘So what?’, you take an objective look at the fear, and more importantly give yourself some faith that no matter what happens… you’ll be okay.
Are you currently worried about something that hasn’t happened yet?
If your worries are causing you a lot of stress, this post might give you some ideas.
First of all, understand that worry, anxiety, distress or nervousness are emotions with the same root: fear.
Like happiness, sadness or anger, fear is an emotion.
Emotions are just electrical impulses – signals that our brain uses to prompt us to take a certain kind of action.
Fear may feel highly uncomfortable, distressing or even painful, but ultimately it is just the body’s ‘alarm system’ to signal you to do (or NOT do) something risky.
More than just signals, understand that your emotions are the result of your interpretation of reality.
For example, if you’re worried you might lose your job, it’s not ‘losing your job’ that is causing you to worry.
It could be that you interpret: ‘losing your job’ = ‘not being able to survive’ = ‘feeling like a burden to your family’
So the reality of losing your job is not good nor bad. It is the interpretation we attach to that reality that it becomes associated as good or bad.
It is not the things themselves that cause emotions, but our interpretations of them that cause the emotions.
Likewise, the things you are worried about are not inherently bad. By your thinking, you interpreted them as bad, and naturally, worry crops up to signal you to do something about it.
How To Change Your Interpretation By Changing The Words
The beauty of the way we interpret things in our lives is that our interpretations are just thoughts.
Thoughts are automatically generated by our mind through our programming, our beliefs. If we believe the world is inherently a dangerous place, we default to thoughts of fear and worry.
Our interpretations, like programming language, can be modified and recoded. By changing the words we use, and the stories we tell ourselves, we can cause immediate shifts in our experience of reality.
Let’s talk about one thing many, many people get worried about: public speaking.
The idea of speaking in front of an audience is enough to trigger all sorts of distressing emotions. Worry is certainly one of them.
But as I’ve explained earlier, it is not the public speaking itself that causes you to worry, it is how you interpret it that causes you to worry.
Let’s say you have an important presentation coming up.
If you could zoom out and take an objective look at yourself having to give that presentation, what are you ACTUALLY worried about?
“What if I forget my entire speech and make a fool out of myself?”
“What if I say something I’m not supposed to and offend the audience?”
“What if I bore them to death with my speech?”
If you take a look at common thoughts of worry or fear, they usually start with the words ‘what if?’.
The words ‘what if’ by themselves are neutral.
But what if you added one more word at the beginning… the word ‘so’.
“So what if I forget my entire speech and make a fool out of myself?”
“So what if I say something I’m not supposed to and offend the audience?”
“So what if I bore them to death with my speech?”
So what?
By starting with ‘So what?’, you almost completely negate the possibility of risk and puts you in a position of indifference.
Your interpretation goes from ‘what if the world ends?’ to ‘what’s the worst that could possibly happen?’.
By reframing the ‘scary’ possibilities as ‘So what?’, you take an objective look at the fear, and more importantly give yourself some faith that no matter what happens… you’ll be okay.
From that position of indifference, you allow yourself to be calm and use reason to dissect your fears and diminish their power over you.
A simple play on words, but it could be a major shift in how you feel and how effectively you respond in situations.
And that’s the power of words to completely re-calibrate your thought patterns and stop feelings of worry or anxiety from taking you hostage.
In coaching my clients, I let them explore their fears and insecurities in a safe space and give them opportunities to completely re-interpret the things they are afraid of.
I’ve done it myself in many instances – and it has made me deal with many fears I’ve had in the past – from cliff jumping to roller coasters to talking to strangers to public speaking and recently, swimming with sharks in the ocean (whale sharks… but still!).
Knowing this, what other ways can you reframe your worries and re-think your fears?
I’d love to know!
Summary
It is not the things themselves that cause emotions, but our interpretations of them that cause the emotions.
Our interpretations, like programming language, can be modified and recoded. By changing the words we use, and the stories we tell ourselves, we can cause immediate shifts in our experience of reality.
By reframing from ‘What If?’ to ‘So what?’, you take an objective look at the fear, and more importantly give yourself some faith that no matter what happens… you’ll be okay.