Question: How do you know if your current goals will make you happy once you achieve them?
In a world where we have many goals in common – career success, loving relationships, better health and more money – many of us remain confused, dissatisfied and unfulfilled.
We’re unfulfilled not because we fail to achieve those goals. We’re unfulfilled because even after we achieve them… we’re still unhappy!
That’s because many of us pursue goals that we think will make us happy. How can you know for sure that your goals are the right ones?
It boils down to one key question: what kind of goals are you pursuing?
In order to choose worthy goals and find lasting satisfaction from achieving them, you need to be able to tell the difference between the two types of goals: means goals and end goals.
Have you ever heard of the phrase ‘means to an end’?
If something is described as a ‘means to an end’, it is a resource to help you achieve a particular outcome.
Let’s say you have a goal to earn an income of $20,000 a month.
If you’re like most people, you want more money. You may not admit it, for various reasons, but you can’t deny that more money will inadvertently make your life better.
So to have a financial goal to increase your income, it’s not uncommon.
However, what you want is not the actual money. Money is just a resource to obtain a particular outcome.
What you really want is not the resource. What you really want is the outcome.
So I’ll ask: what will it mean to you to have that $20,000 a month?
And you can reply with something like: to enjoy a stress-free lifestyle of financial freedom for myself and my family.
The weird thing is, a lot of people don’t make this distinction.
You don’t really want the money.
What you want is what you can do with the money.
The goal to earn an income of $20,000 a month is what we call a means goal.
The ‘$20,000 a month’ is just the means for you to achieve an end – which is ‘a stress-free lifestyle of financial freedom for you and your family’.
So if that is the actual outcome that you want, wouldn’t it make sense to define ‘a stress-free lifestyle of financial freedom for you and your family’ instead of ‘$20,000 a month?’ as your actual goal?
That lifestyle of financial freedom – is known as an end goal.
Here’s the thing: what if you ended up living ‘a stress-free lifestyle of financial freedom for you and your family’ at only $7,500 a month – way below your intended goal?
Would it still make sense to bend over backwards to make the remaining $12,500 a month… simply because you’ve not achieved your ‘ideal income’?
You see, when it comes to goal setting, many of us fall into the trap of being obsessed about the ‘how’ and not the ‘why’.
When we suspend our need to know the ‘how’ and get clear on exactly ‘why’ we want that goal… we realize that we open ourselves up to a multitude of possibilities…
…All leading us to that actual thing that we want.
We listen to what society or our well-intended family members want us to achieve and we pursue the conventional route.
A college degree, a high-paying stable job, a fancy car, a big house and a comfortable retirement.
These are all means goals that society deems will lead us to that end goal known as ‘happiness’.
But many people start to realize it only later in life that they’re deeply unhappy, even after having ticked off all the boxes of society’s list of means goals.
A much better strategy is to do away with all the means goals… and get crystal clear on what exactly is our end goals.
How do we do this?
How To Distinguish Between a Means Goal And an End Goal
In the book ‘The Code of the Extraordinary Mind’, author Vishen Lakhiani highlights four distinguishing factors to identify whether your goal is a means goal or an end goal.
Key #1: Means goals usually have a ‘so’ in them.
Means goals are meant to be stepping stones to the end goal that you actually want.
I want to graduate from university with a 4.0 GPA… so that I can have the best career prospects… so that I can be a highly paid executive of a prestigious company… so that I can live my dream of travelling the world once every month.
If your goal has a ‘so’… it probably leads to more ’so’s until you finally reach the actual outcome that you truly desire, which is your ‘end goal’.
Key #2: Means goals are often about meeting society or other people’s expectations.
Means goals are often the things that your parents, your teachers, your friends or society wants you to have.
They are all the ‘shoulds’.
You ‘should’ get an internship at a prestigious firm. You ‘should’ get married and settle down. You ‘should’ invest in property. You ‘should’ start a business.
Personally I think the only thing you ‘should’ do is to start making your own decisions on what you ’should’ and ’shouldn’t’ do.
Key #3: End goals are about following your heart.
Consider this difference.
If you’re studying hard to “get straight ‘A’s and get a scholarship”… you may find that studying feels like a chore that you clearly have to motivate yourself to do.
But if you’re studying hard to “be recognized as the most accomplished expert in your industry”… then the act of studying hard suddenly becomes a critical step to fulfilling this dream.
So studying hard becomes easy.
What makes end goals much more satisfying is because they make the process of working towards them rewarding and meaningful.
When the process becomes meaningful to you, then you no longer have to be ‘motivated’.
You just ‘follow your heart’ and move forward with single-minded focus.
And the likelihood of you achieving your end goal becomes almost inevitable.
Key #4: End goals are often feelings.
Ask yourself right now, what does your heart crave?
Is it to get rich and earn more money… or to experience the freedom to time and resources to live your lifestyle of choice?
Is it to quit your job and start a business… or experience more satisfaction doing work you that you love while serving others?
Is it to get married… or experience deep joy in a beautiful, intimate relationship?
Ultimately what you want is not the thing itself, but the experience of having the thing.
By having end goals instead of means goals, you remind yourself that what you want is a state of feeling something.
And as you strive towards them, you continually ‘rehearse’ those feelings in your mind, giving you that constant inspiration to overcome obstacles and keep moving forward.
—
Sure, it’s important to set goals and pursue them.
But it’s way, way more important to know what kind of goals you are pursuing.
Do a check-in on the current goals you’re pursuing right now, and ask yourself – are they means goals or are they end goals?
If they are means goals, convert them to end goals – and then notice the difference in energy.
That energy may just be what you need to kickstart some momentum and take your life to the next level!
Summary
Instead of setting means goals, choose to focus on end goals.
How to Distinguish Between a Means Goal or an End Goal
Key #1: Means goals usually have a ‘so’ in them.
Key #2: Means goals are often about meeting society or other people’s expectations
Key #3: End goals are about following your heart
Key #4: End goals are often feelings
Question: How do you know if your current goals will make you happy once you achieve them?
In a world where we have many goals in common – career success, loving relationships, better health and more money – many of us remain confused, dissatisfied and unfulfilled.
We’re unfulfilled not because we fail to achieve those goals. We’re unfulfilled because even after we achieve them… we’re still unhappy!
That’s because many of us pursue goals that we think will make us happy. How can you know for sure that your goals are the right ones?
It boils down to one key question: what kind of goals are you pursuing?
In order to choose worthy goals and find lasting satisfaction from achieving them, you need to be able to tell the difference between the two types of goals: means goals and end goals.
Have you ever heard of the phrase ‘means to an end’?
If something is described as a ‘means to an end’, it is a resource to help you achieve a particular outcome.
Let’s say you have a goal to earn an income of $20,000 a month.
If you’re like most people, you want more money. You may not admit it, for various reasons, but you can’t deny that more money will inadvertently make your life better.
So to have a financial goal to increase your income, it’s not uncommon.
However, what you want is not the actual money. Money is just a resource to obtain a particular outcome.
What you really want is not the resource. What you really want is the outcome.
So I’ll ask: what will it mean to you to have that $20,000 a month?
And you can reply with something like: to enjoy a stress-free lifestyle of financial freedom for myself and my family.
The weird thing is, a lot of people don’t make this distinction.
You don’t really want the money.
What you want is what you can do with the money.
The goal to earn an income of $20,000 a month is what we call a means goal.
The ‘$20,000 a month’ is just the means for you to achieve an end – which is ‘a stress-free lifestyle of financial freedom for you and your family’.
So if that is the actual outcome that you want, wouldn’t it make sense to define ‘a stress-free lifestyle of financial freedom for you and your family’ instead of ‘$20,000 a month?’ as your actual goal?
That lifestyle of financial freedom – is known as an end goal.
Here’s the thing: what if you ended up living ‘a stress-free lifestyle of financial freedom for you and your family’ at only $7,500 a month – way below your intended goal?
Would it still make sense to bend over backwards to make the remaining $12,500 a month… simply because you’ve not achieved your ‘ideal income’?
You see, when it comes to goal setting, many of us fall into the trap of being obsessed about the ‘how’ and not the ‘why’.
When we suspend our need to know the ‘how’ and get clear on exactly ‘why’ we want that goal… we realize that we open ourselves up to a multitude of possibilities…
…All leading us to that actual thing that we want.
We listen to what society or our well-intended family members want us to achieve and we pursue the conventional route.
A college degree, a high-paying stable job, a fancy car, a big house and a comfortable retirement.
These are all means goals that society deems will lead us to that end goal known as ‘happiness’.
But many people start to realize it only later in life that they’re deeply unhappy, even after having ticked off all the boxes of society’s list of means goals.
A much better strategy is to do away with all the means goals… and get crystal clear on what exactly is our end goals.
How do we do this?
How To Distinguish Between a Means Goal And an End Goal
In the book ‘The Code of the Extraordinary Mind’, author Vishen Lakhiani highlights four distinguishing factors to identify whether your goal is a means goal or an end goal.
Key #1: Means goals usually have a ‘so’ in them.
Means goals are meant to be stepping stones to the end goal that you actually want.
I want to graduate from university with a 4.0 GPA… so that I can have the best career prospects… so that I can be a highly paid executive of a prestigious company… so that I can live my dream of travelling the world once every month.
If your goal has a ‘so’… it probably leads to more ’so’s until you finally reach the actual outcome that you truly desire, which is your ‘end goal’.
Key #2: Means goals are often about meeting society or other people’s expectations.
Means goals are often the things that your parents, your teachers, your friends or society wants you to have.
They are all the ‘shoulds’.
You ‘should’ get an internship at a prestigious firm. You ‘should’ get married and settle down. You ‘should’ invest in property. You ‘should’ start a business.
Personally I think the only thing you ‘should’ do is to start making your own decisions on what you ’should’ and ’shouldn’t’ do.
Key #3: End goals are about following your heart.
Consider this difference.
If you’re studying hard to “get straight ‘A’s and get a scholarship”… you may find that studying feels like a chore that you clearly have to motivate yourself to do.
But if you’re studying hard to “be recognized as the most accomplished expert in your industry”… then the act of studying hard suddenly becomes a critical step to fulfilling this dream.
So studying hard becomes easy.
What makes end goals much more satisfying is because they make the process of working towards them rewarding and meaningful.
When the process becomes meaningful to you, then you no longer have to be ‘motivated’.
You just ‘follow your heart’ and move forward with single-minded focus.
And the likelihood of you achieving your end goal becomes almost inevitable.
Key #4: End goals are often feelings.
Ask yourself right now, what does your heart crave?
Is it to get rich and earn more money… or to experience the freedom to time and resources to live your lifestyle of choice?
Is it to quit your job and start a business… or experience more satisfaction doing work you that you love while serving others?
Is it to get married… or experience deep joy in a beautiful, intimate relationship?
Ultimately what you want is not the thing itself, but the experience of having the thing.
By having end goals instead of means goals, you remind yourself that what you want is a state of feeling something.
And as you strive towards them, you continually ‘rehearse’ those feelings in your mind, giving you that constant inspiration to overcome obstacles and keep moving forward.
—
Sure, it’s important to set goals and pursue them.
But it’s way, way more important to know what kind of goals you are pursuing.
Do a check-in on the current goals you’re pursuing right now, and ask yourself – are they means goals or are they end goals?
If they are means goals, convert them to end goals – and then notice the difference in energy.
That energy may just be what you need to kickstart some momentum and take your life to the next level!
Summary
Instead of setting means goals, choose to focus on end goals.
How to Distinguish Between a Means Goal or an End Goal
Key #1: Means goals usually have a ‘so’ in them.
Key #2: Means goals are often about meeting society or other people’s expectations
Key #3: End goals are about following your heart
Key #4: End goals are often feelings