Mike has a daily habit of waking up at 6 am in the morning to run for an hour. He would never miss a day. Even when he went travelling and would get to the hotel late at night, he’d still wake up at 6 am to go for a run.

When it rained, Mike would go indoors find a treadmill to run. Sometimes he would even find a carpark to run around.

If Mike was sick, he would still wake up at 6 to run. If there was an emergency, he would still wake up at 6 to run.

In fact, in the 11 years that Dan knew Mike… Mike never missed a day of running.

So one day, astounded by his friend’s incredible discipline, Dan asked Mike: “How are you so motivated to run every single day at 6? How did you develop such self-discipline? What’s your secret?”

Mike simply said: “Dan, it’s simple. I’m a runner. So I run.”

What?

Mike’s ’secret’ was too simple.

Annoyed, I turned off my Youtube and went to bed.

How I Applied ‘The Secret’

In the next few days, I still couldn’t get Mike’s answer out of my mind. And I was pondering on all the periods of intense change in my life.

I remembered that for the first 16 years of my life, I grew up a weak and timid kid.

So at 17, I took up martial arts – something completely uncharacteristic of me.

After every session, I was always so discouraged. I would never be as fast, tough or skilled as my peers.

And I considered quitting many, many times. But then I would think of who I was before, and I would say to myself:

“That’s not who I am anymore. Today, I am a fighter”.

No matter how beaten, battered and bruised at the end of every training session, I would keep coming back.

7 years later, I started to go back to training in an attempt to rekindle that ‘inner fighter’ that I used to harbour inside me.

But I found that I couldn’t even last a few weeks in training, and I stopped altogether.

Shocked and disappointed by my ‘lack of motivation’, I admit to myself the hard truth:

“That’s not who I am anymore. Today, I am a speaker”.

I’ve become so obsessed with becoming a confident, charismatic speaker – physically, mentally, emotionally – that all other ‘identities’ that I held in the past… felt ‘not me’ anymore.

Which reminded me of the truth about self-image: The most powerful force in the human psyche is our NEED to stay true to who we believe we are. 

Who Are You?

Stepping on stage to speak feels easy and natural – because that’s who I am. Being in the kitchen to cook spaghetti feels difficult – because that’s not who I am.

If you can’t stop smoking, it’s not that you lack the discipline to stop. It’s just that you still believe, deep down inside – ‘I’m a smoker’.

If you’ve tried every workout plan, diet plan, and gym membership but failed to get results, it’s simply because you’ve not bought into the idea that “I am fit and healthy.”

You will always act true to who you believe you are.

Self-discipline is not the answer. Self-image is.

So now you know the answer, let me ask the question: who are you?

The second question is: who are you not?

Because what comes easy to you happens because you are absolutely certain that you are ‘that kind of person’.

Our need to stay true to our identity is so important that in order for us to see external changes, we need to first make an internal change.

How?

Next time you’re about to make a split-second decision like whether to eat a piece of chocolate cake or push it away – ask yourself: Is this who I am?

If the answer is a resounding YES – eat the cake.

If the answer is “No, that is not who I am.” – push it away and opt for a healthier dessert.

And that’s how change happens.

Conditioning yourself, repeatedly. One decision at a time.

Until you finally say “THIS is who I am.”

By then, it would’ve become easy and natural.

Because self-discipline will always follow self-image.